South Park: Off Camera!
by DieHardSouthParkerFTW
Summary: We all know about the hit show South Park, but what happens to the boys behind the scenes? We're gonna follow the cast of South Park to see what each of them get up to when the're not on set in the new reality show... South Park: Off Camera!
1. Author's Note

**Jpmm0507 in the house! **

**Now I know some of you will be thinking "Hey, what about that other fanfic he writes which is so cool and if we haven't already checked it out we should RIGHT NOW!" but don't worry, it's just now that I've got a Beta Reader for that fanfic I have to wait for her to edit each chapter before I post it and because I clearly have no social life I'm gonna write another one when I can. Anyway, this is only my second fanfic but as some of you will know, I don't do slash, non-canon pairings... like at all. The only pairings I do is Stendy and maybe Clebe (but don't get your hopes up). And I'd write more of this bold letter shit but I'm pretty sure I'm boring some of you so, on with it...**

This is a small author's note and introduction about my fanfic. Well, we all know that South Park is a hugely popular American TV show set in the real town of South Park, Colorado, but have you ever wondered what the boys, and the rest of the cast get up to, when they're not infront of a camera?! We're gonna be following the cast of South Park with a new cast member each week, in our new reality show... South Park: Off camera! Be sure to tune in every Sunday for a new episode!

Next week- Stan


	2. Stan

**Hi, back here with my second fanfic, and I'm gonna keep this bold writing bit short so...**

_(South Park theme song plays with an 'Off Camera!' stamp over the South Park sign). And we're back with an all new season of South Park: Off Camera! This week, we'll be following the main protagonist of the show, Stan!_

Presenter: It's an all new season and I'm here with the one and only Stan Williams, aka Stan Marsh, one of the main characters of the show. How's life Stan?

Stan: Great!

Presenter: So we all know about the show and the crazy events that take place, but what crazy events happen when you're not on set?

Stan: Well, me and Kyle went to a party lastnight. And we got smashed out of our heads!

Presenter: Smashed?! You're ten!

Stan: On Cherryade! And we played Twister with Wendy and Bebe and there was a DJ and everything!

Presenter: Okay... well... tell us about yourself!

Stan: Well, I grew up in San Francisco in California for the first five years since I was born, then we moved to Florida and my mom made me audition for the show and I'm so glad she did, I have no regrets!

Presenter: Wait, but South Park is freezing cold and coated with snow, how do they shoot the show in sunny Florida?

Stan: We use artificial snow and on set there's tons of cooling fans because when you're wrapped up warm in Florida, you might aswell throw yourself into an oven- on the sun!

Presenter: Okay and that's all from Stan everybody we'll be back after the break to show what Stan got up to when a cameraman followed him around all week.

_After the commercials..._

Everybody is looking over at the screen where the video has just started playing.

Stan was walking down the street with the cameraman and his mother, who actually plays Sharon Marsh in the show. Stan's friends weren't all rich actors like him, infact before he made it big he was poor and scruffy and had poor and scruffy friends,

"Stanley, come here!" said Stan's mom holding him close as they walked past the run down shops and the gatherings of homeless people. They walked down an unlit alley, barely seeing what was infront of them. Suddenly, a figure emerged from the corner, pressing a gun into Sharon's side. Nothing could be seen from the cameraman's view but all you could hear was Sahron grunting and just as the cameraman turned his flash on, the mugger layed there, beaten and bruised and Sharon stood there panting unharmed. The video went on for another 10 minutes and the show was coming to a close.

Presenter: Well...yeah... don't forget to watch next week when we'll have South Park's very own Kyle right here in the studio!

The crowd cheered

Presenter: Starting next week we'll be answering any questions sent in by viewers and don't forget to tune in next Sunday!

**That's all for this week, questions can be sent in by either review or PM.**


	3. Kyle

**Alright, so here's the next chapter of my 'newish' fanfic and there's not much happening for me to say. Remember to check out my other fanfic, Adolf T. Cartman and here's the web address:**

** s/9280187/1/Adolf-T-Cartman **

_(South Park theme song plays with an 'Off Camera!' stamp over the South Park sign). And we're back with an all new season of South Park: Off Camera! This week, we'll be following another of the main characters and 'The Jewrat',_

_Kyle!_

Presenter: Here's another episode of the show and I'm here with South Park's very own, Kyle Goldstein aka Kyle Broflovski! So, what've you been up to Kyle?

Kyle: Well, ummm other than Cartman 'Trying to destroy all the jews' once or twice and 'Trying to kill all gingers' then not much really, I've been doing a bit of acting on the side but that's all.

Presenter: Oooh!

(Crowd harmoniously 'Ooohhh's)

Presenter: What sort of acting?

Kyle: Oh, nothing big... just a couple of minor movie apperances, an endorsement and I guess starred on Family Guy-

Presenter: Zzzzzzz... Oh, sorry what was that

Kyle: * cough * rude * cough *

Presenter: Well, ermmm so Kyle what's your relationship with the rest of the cast.

Kyle: Actually, we all get along quite well, infact you probably wouldn't have guessed it but I get on really well with Eric!

Presenter: WHAT?! You get on with Cartman?!

Kyle: Yeah, why not, we're actors not real enemies!

Presenter: Yeah... but... ummm...well...ANYWAY, are you really a Jew?

Kyle: My name is Goldstein and you're doubting whether I'm a Jew?

(The presenter pulls Kyle aside)

Presenter (whispered): Listen here you Jewish little Bitch, do you want producers on my ass 'cause the shows received some complaints from some stupid moms in Michigan over 'Racial Comments'?! Again?!

Kyle: JESUS CHRIST!

(They return to their seats)

Presenter: Okay so that's all for now and we'll be back after the break!

_After the commercials..._

Presenter: Okay so we're back and it's time for a new segment of our show:

QUESTION TIME! This week we'll be asking Kyle questions that you, the viewers have sent in.

(He scowls at Kyle)

Presenter: Okay, first question... Epicpenguin13 asks "Kyle! How is it that you guys look the same and are the same age after 16 and a half seasons of South Park?"

Kyle: Well, y-

Presenter: So, Kyle how do you look the same after all these years

Kyle: You see-

Presenter: Because we'd all love to know!

Kyle: Well ummm...

(Kyle stops and thinks for a while before his agent, a little brown haired woman with red glasses, came rushing on and took a chair next to him and whispers something in his ear)

Kyle: Silicone!

Presenter: Silicone?!

Kyle: Yeah silicone, what the hell did you think? We've had so much surgery done to look this young, we've probably got more plastic in our faces than Kim Kardashian!

(The presenter bursts out laughing but the crowd doesn't follow)

Presenter: B-but how'dya look so small

(Kyle's agent whispers something about skin drafts or growth stoppers into his ear but Kyle doesn't really hear any of it)

Kyle: Ermmm... that's classified

Presenter: Well... that's awkward... Anyway, demonlord5000 asks "Has Stan ever banged anyone?"

Kyle: Dude! I'm Kyle!

Presenter: Well you can answer the question

Kyle: I'M TEN!

Presenter: That doesn't necessarily mean that you haven't done it!

Kyle: Just move on to the next question!

Presenter: There isn't any more questions, because if more viewers had sent in questions we wouldn't be in this situation!

(The presenter's face is bright red and the show cuts to commercials)

_After the commercials..._

A woman was sat in the presenter's chair, she had long, brown hair and sparkling hazel eyes.

Brunette woman: Hello and welcome back to South Park: Off Camera! I'm afraid Tom has had to take a short break so I'll be taking over for a while.

(Kyle's face looks relieved)

Kyle: Who are you?

Brunette woman: I'm Carrie Milbank, I present the "Hockey Show" on NHL

(A drunk man in the audience stands up)

Man in audience: Yeah, well you're hot

Carrie: Can somebody get that man out of here?

(The man is escorted out of the studio and everybody looked towards the screen behind Carrie and Kyle as it started the video of what Kyle got up to over the week.)

Kyle is in school with his friends Eric and Stan, infact their real school looks alot like their fictional one. Suddenly, Bebe comes running down the hall chasing Kyle chanting his name with flowers and a card in her hand.

"Kyle, honey, Kyle!" she sings

"Go away you absolute nutjob!" Kyle shouts

"Oh yeah, I love it when you play these games!"

Bebe chases Kyle into a corner and is just about to smooch him when suddenly Red comes running in and slaps her.

"Don't touch him you bitch! He's mine" she said slapping Bebe across the face

"Ahhhh!" Kyle runs into the toilets and starts praying that they don't come in.

Kyle waits in the cubicle for a while until the bell goes. Kyle had never been late for class, which was displayed by the perfect school attendance badge on his jacket. He sticks his head outside the door and peers around the corner to see Red and Bebe waiting for him. Kyle waits to think what to do and all of a sudden charges right towards the two girls and does a James Bond style flip over the two of them and darts of to class.

Carrie: Well that was quite remarkable, Kyle where did you learn to do that?

Kyle: WAIT! How did you get that footage of me on the toilet-

Carrie: And that's all we have time for this week, be sure to tune in next week for South Park: Off Camera

(The camera starts to pan out as Kyle screams "I'll sue this show for everything it's worth!")

Next week- Wendy

**That's all for this week, remember to review and send in your questions!**


	4. Wendy

**Here's the next chapter to my fanfic and I know I missed the deadline last week but that's because of a... ermm 'Power cut?'. Well, who cares just be glad that you're reading this you ungrateful little-**

_(South Park theme song plays with an 'Off Camera!' stamp over the South Park sign). _

Presenter: This week, we'll be following another characters of the show-

(A random guy in the crowd stands up)

Guy in crowd: Wait, what happened to Carrie Milbank

Presenter: I went to rehab you asswipe and now she's gone! Now get that buy out of here!

(Some security guards come along and take the man away)

Presenter: Now I know that you'll be expecting Cartman to be on the show this week because everything is normally Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny but suck it bitches here's Wendy Testaburger aka Wendy Blackman!

(Cartman walks on stage and the presenter sits back awkwardly in his chair, muttering something into his microphone whilst pressing his earphone in)

Presenter: Well, this is awkward

Cartman: Why is everyone so quiet?

(Cartman looks at the screen showing Wendy's picture)

Cartman: Oh, of course!

(He walks offstage as Wendy walks on)

Wendy: Suck it bitches? Reall?

Presenter: Ooh, bitchy! Time of the month?

Wendy: Excuse me but I find that to be sexist and don't think that because I'm black, I won't write to the producers of this show!

Presenter: You're not black you crazy bitch!

Wendy: Oh yeah?

(Wendy pulls off her mask to reveal her real face and takes off her "Special" microphone)

Presenter: You're black?!

Wendy: Well duh! My last name is Blackman!

Presenter: Oh my God! Please don't sue me!

(The programme shuts off and the screen reads 'We're facing some technical difficulties, we'll be back shortly)

_10 minutes later..._

The presenter is sat in his chair and Wendy gives him dirty looks.

Presenter: Okay, so we're back now and everything is settled, and here's my favourite part of the show, QUESTION TIME!

Wendy: Ughh

Presenter: Epicpenguin13 asks 'Wendy, are you in a real relationship with Stan?'

Wendy: No! Why does everyone ship these relationships that aren't real, what's it called, 'Stendy'?

Presenter: Do you really mean that?

Wendy: Of course not, have you even seen him?!

(Stan watches awkardly, quickly grabbing the remote to change the channel)

Wendy: Stan, If you're watching this, I love you!

Presenter: Anyway, next question, Epicpenguin13 asks _again _'Wendy, what has been your favourite episode of South Park?'

Wendy: Well, it has to be, Brast Cancer Show Ever because in the end, Cartman saw the importace of breast cancer and it really is serious and everybody should know-

Presenter: Zzzzzz

Wendy: HELLO!

Presenter: Oh sorry, are you done... next question, demonlord5000 asks 'Wendy, why are you such a sassy bitch!'

Well, she is black

Wendy: Oh hell no! I'mma go whoop you ass!

(Wendy stans up jumping on the presenter)

**Alright that's all for this Chapter and I know it's short but I've been preparing for Christmas lately and I'm not so sure whether or not I'll carry on with this fic but anyway, remember to review and that all for this chapter! :P **


End file.
